$10 limerick #5
There was a young man of Peru
Who was hard up for something to do.
So he took out his carrot
And buggared his parrot,
And sent the results to the Zoo.
Norman Douglas:
"(From the Golden Period.) It is always when people are idle or 'tired of doing nothing,' as they call it, that these things occur. Which of us has not been told that:
'There was a young monk of Siberia,
Who of frigging grew weary and wearier.
At last, with a yell,
He burst from his cell,
And buggared the Father Superior.'
"Half the cases of rape recorded in the newspapers, the epidemics of onanism among schoolboys – to say nothing of a great many murders – would never be heard of, if the perpetrators were not hard up for something to do. The larger apes in captivity, notably mandrills, are liable to masturbate themselves into a consumption from sheer boredom, and it is not difficult to guess what would happen in such circumstances, if there were a bird handy.
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"According to C.E. Hilliar (Avifauna of the Peruvian Highlands, London, 1888, p. 163) Peruvian parrots are of an 'unusually confiding disposition.' This may supply a key.
"He sent the results to the Zoo – where, it is to be feared, so delicate a hybrid cannot have survived for long. I conjecture the specimen is now in the Museum of the College of Surgeons."
Or Take Your Pick:
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